A friend recently posted an ultra sound picture of a sweet little 8 week blob. Her comment? The typical.
Wedontcarewhatitisaslongasitshealthy....
Ignorance is truly bliss.
I would give my own life for CJ to have taken a breath. My daydreams now involve having the chance to raise my downs syndrome baby. I wish his little heart could have kept beating for 2 more weeks and given us the chance to get him help. If I had only known...
I fantasize about what it would feel like to kiss his warm forehead as he is wheeled into surgery, or to have the opprotunity to make choices for him that would effect his life. Any physical scars would have been proof he lived. Instead, I'm left with a wounded soul.
His life may have been riddled with medical and social obstacles, but all I wanted was the chance the spend time loving him through it and showing him how much I loved him.
I just want my sick baby better on earth with me. Even if it was to be a short time. No time at all is purely torture. He didn't need to simply be healthy. He just needed to be alive.
I wish I was still blissfully ignorant....
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