It's coming...

Mother's Day 2016.

It's coming.

And it will probably be my 3rd year of acting like a bit of a maniac.  Lost, mad, emotional, sad one moment... thankful and blessed the next.

I'm already having chest palpitations at the thought of it.  A stupid date on the calender.  Can you imagine a date causing physical pain? I'm counting down to a day full of counting.  A day full of answering how many children I have.  Or my favorite - "you have ALL girls??". A day of trying to decide if I tell the over questioning stranger at Starbucks that we just left the cemetery and I really just want my damn coffee.

I'll take a deep breath and call my own mom.  She'll be over cheerful knowing how desperately my heart is breaking and trying to bring me comfort.  Hopefully my heart will be empathetic to her loss, also.  CJ was loved beyond measure then and now by so many.

And in the end,  it's ok.  I get up and function every single day knowing my child is buried at our church cemetery.  It's a reality I still have not completely figured out.  If a date on the calender turns me into a maniac,  just love me through it.  And look around at the women in your life who seem off this week and show them some love.   You don't know what story their heart carries.  And Monday we will all get up and start all over again. 

I'll forever #doitforcj.