Yep, I'm back.

CJ,

Mom just can't seem to stay away from you today. Something was just screaming for me to come back.

So here I am. Laying in the grass right next to you sweet boy. And for the first time today, I am almost exhaling.

I wish I could explain to the rest of the world how insanely irrelevant my daily life really feels.  Some days your absence is like a screaming buzzer in my ear all day long.  I can't exhale until I stop and just miss you.   

So I'm exhaling.   

And I'm crying. 

I can't believe you would have been 2 on earth this month.   You should be driving me nuts. I shouldn't be crying alone in a cemetery...

I love you.   Help me #doitforcj.