Dear young mom,
Don't be defensive! I was a young mom, too. At 19 I gave birth to my first child. That beautiful baby turns 22 today. In those 22 years, 3 more beautiful babies joined our family. So instead of being defensive, just stop and listen to me for a moment.
You don't know it all. I know you think you do, but you haven't a clue. If you are blessed with a healthy baby, you don't know the heartache of others not as lucky. You are not a perfect mom because there is simply no such thing. You will learn and grow with your child/children. Be open to new ideas and suggestions. Resist the urge to compete with other moms. In the end, you child will thrive with your love. Enjoy the journey.
And do yourself a favor and befriend a veteran mom. We have a wealth of experience to share and have raised our kids in a simpler time. Just 22 years ago we didn't even have a cell phone, let alone iPads! Our kids were blessed with afternoons of our imaginations. We were not bombarded with information and guidelines of ways to parent 24/7. Social media was sitting at the park with the neighbors! Through those interactions, we have learned the joys of not being distracted by a cell phone. Our toddlers learned to self soothe and kept themselves occupied without constant electronic stimulation.
If you just lost your baby, you path ahead of you to healing lasts a lifetime, not just a few months. I hurt for you. Having lost CJ at 38, I had a lot of parenting experience behind me. My husband and I had been together for many years and our relationship was definitely much deeper than in our 20s. In odd ways, it was a blessing to have lived through such a tragedy a bit later in life. Give yourself time. Buddy up with those of us who somehow survived. I had babyloss moms that stepped forward to hold my hand and let me cry. You can't get through it alone, and it doesn't take just a few months to recover. The path of grief is long and complicated. One day you will be there for the next mom. For now, be there for yourself. Heal. Take time to grieve.
If you swallow your pride and allow some simple joy to develop, you will be just fine. Just remember to KISS those babies.
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid
Happy 22nd to my sweet Katie!! Thank you for teaching me how imperfect I really am. I couldn't love you any more if I tried!! #doitforcj
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