Thankful heart...

Babies...

Everywhere...

I have been inundated with them today.  Every tv commercial and program was brimming with them today.  My news feed was an odd balance of bereaved moms from my support groups sharing pictures of their angels and new moms holding beautiful pink babies born this week.

Plus we have my buddy who is here being cute during the day.  It's not a sad reminder, but definitely a strong one to have him here.  And while noticing the universe seemingly rubbing it in my face today, I also recognized my blessings.

Bonnie.  My insane shepherd/boxer/pit mix joined us as we began to process our grief last year.  Her crazy antics and hyperactive personality has made her a Facebook favorite. Bonnie is a blessing that would have never happened.  Thank you, CJ.  THANK YOU for sending this insane ball of love into our lives.

***  I began writing this prior to finding myself in the hospital for 3 days with pneumonia in both lungs. Home for a few days today and feeling so thankful and ready to finish this***

Friendships have been brought into my life that I would never have without my sweet boy.  Other moms who have survived the unimaginable swooped me up in there big, protective arms when I needed to feel safe.  We have cried, yelled, and even laughed together at all hours of the day and night.  I have been the comforted and eventually the comforter.  My sense of empathy and compassion has forever been changed by this experience.  Thank you CJ for bringing mommy the support she needed to get through the hardest days.

Old friends jumped to help me recover this week while I simply couldn't take care of myself.  Familiar faces nursed me back to health, took the time to ask about our CJ, and simply sit and hold my hand.  Companionship is easily avoided when you have been through such a traumatic time.  I'm thankful for these dear people stepping a bit closer than I usually allow towards my guarded heart.

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to get life back on track.  My little buddy will be here causing havoc, kids will be shipped off to school, and hubby to work.  And nomatter how disastrous tomorrow goes, at the end of the day God willing I will kiss our daughters goodnight and snuggle back into bed with the man who somehow makes me laugh through it all.

Because let's face it,  even when missing CJ to the point of tears, I am very blessed.  And today I'm thankful for a lighter heart to see those blessings. 

Another day without my sweet CJ  on earth, but another day closer to holding him in heaven... #doitforcj