Let's face it, I became a mother very young. 19 to be exact. For whatever reason, becoming a parent was very easy for me. I was always the teenager babysitting every week for families that paid me well to keep me. Infants to school age, I loved them all. My sweet first baby was light of my life.
Her sisters that followed in my mid twenties are no different. Blessings that so abundantly filled our lives. Of course I have my fair share of mommy tantrum stories from days when I felt overwhelmed. But for the most part, we parented with old school values and common sense.
Our kids had plenty of clothes, toys, and of course our love and attention. Even on a tight budget, while the newest trends may not have been possible, but they always had plenty. The first time I really remember putting my foot down and taking a stand was over video games. They were pretty much banned from my home except the first electronic reading books that came out. We were in agreement that our children would not be glued to the TV for their childhood. Back then the first portable gameboys were coming out and our kids simply went without.
Yet I admit too often feeling inadequate. I wanted my beautifully dressed kids (thanks to clearance and resale shopping) to have even better. I envied other parents minivans that were a bit nicer, or strollers that are a model newer. I wanted our kids to not feel behind in any way. Many of their friends' parents were many years older than us. They are simply more established and in a different phase of life. I laugh now at how young we really were.
I'm pondering all of this as I think about what type of parent would I be for a newborn today?
Calm. One thing we really bring to the table with a house full of young women is a pretty calm environment. Now I have my bad days, but typically or home is drama free. We are not yellers. My kids each muttered they hated us once and never again. They were taught to respect us and each other. Hate is the f word of ugly words and absolutely not allowed in our home.
Loving. I didn't grow up on a home were we said "I love you" and very rarely hugged. It left me screaming for physical attention as a teenager. Our kids are snuggled and told they are loved and are amazing every chance I get (to the point of eye rolls). Living these lessons modeled to them exactly the support we needed after CJ. They would sit on the couch with my for hours while I cried holding my hand. Almost 2 years later, they know exactly how powerful a hug is when they catch me crying. There's a love and bond between us that would only be strengthened with another sibling. I've always felt there is an over flow screaming for more babies. My body simply hasn't cooperated.
Patient. This comes with simply being a bit more mature. CJ had really taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Laundry can stack up if I means my kids get my attention. I have no desire to miss out on time with them to be stressing over cleaning. We tackle it as team, then relax together. I'm sure juggling supervising a toddler would be the same. It's easier to be patient when everyone works together.
Happy. Our kids have brought us incredible joy from the moment we knew they were conceived. Every single day they make me laugh. I hurt to my soul knowing a time is coming when they are beginning to leave. I never choose to have an empty nest already. There should be little souls and toy boxes filling the nooks of my home. Don't envy my ability to have glass shelving or fingerprintless furniture. It's all screaming for sticky hands and miscellaneous plastic toys.
I will never look at a pregnant woman in her 40s and assume her belly was a "oops" or mistake. I see a woman with a beautiful opportunity to be the mom only maturity can help you be. I wish others would stop asking or assuming my son was unplanned. A surprised blessing after so many years of trying? Yes. But always part of God's plan for my life. I'm hoping the rest of his plan had yet to be fulfilled. There's still lots of love, patience, and happiness in my heart to share.
While my path unfolds, I'll keep trying to stay positive. That's how I #doitforcj!
No comments:
Post a Comment