7 months

Dear CJ,

7 months.  In some ways it feels like yesterday, yet in the next breathe it feels like years.

Mommy still cries.  Lots.  I'm getting better at holding back until I'm alone, but sunglasses are definitely my best disguise.  Sometimes tears hit my cheeks before I realize it.  Even on my busiest days, you are in my heart and on my mind.

I have so many questions I wish you could answer for me.  When will I join you in heaven?  Do I make you proud?  How can I honor your memory best?  And so many more...

Daddy and your sisters miss you so much too.  Not a day goes by that we don't say your name.  This week we all seen to be stumbling into situations that hurt our broken hearts.  Sometimes people just don't understand how painful their words (or lack of) can be.  But when you see us stumble, notice how many beautiful souls rush to pick us up!  Thank you for nudging them for us.

Mommy can usually ramble on and on, but this week my hurting heart has me stifled.  Please help everyone around me view my silence and as cry for help.  Mommy needs prayers.  Lots and lots of prayers.

7 months my angel.  7 months closer to holding you in my arms again.  Maybe next months I will handle the 13th better. Maybe....

#doitforcj