Speaking up. .

What a crazy week!  Since CJ was born, there was one major goal that I hoped to achieve one day.  I wanted to help our hospital do better.

I'm not speaking medically.  And for the sake of my own privacy,  I won't go into the medical issues that surrounded our outcome.   But spiritually.

Gasp! Spiritually?  In a place of business?  Because let's face it,  hospitals exist to turn a profit.   But when the tag line they use is "sharing the healing ministries of Christ", they could have done better.

My journey began with the coordinator of a program for infant and pregnancy loss support group through the region.  She and I had several long, tearful conversations.   I have yet to utilize the support group through the hospital to it's full potential because of the burdens I was holding in my heart.

Then an invitation was made.   I was asked to speak in front of a few department heads.  Nervously I accepted.  For the sake of my own healing.   Our simple scheduled meeting turned into 20 clergy/managers/nurses/ support staff crowding into a small conference room to hear my sweet baby boy's story. Tissues were passed, hugs were shared, as I honestly cried my way through the hardest story of my life.

The meeting was recorded,  and with my permission is becoming part of a mandatory curriculum were any hospital employee who deals with grieving families must view.  So many changes have already been implemented because of my sweet little boy.  Instead of changes, I should really say additions.  Additional services and support will be offered for every family facing this nightmare. Hopefully families can walk away with beautiful memories made with their baby.  Every baby.

All because of one little boy.

The fire this has sparked inside of me brings such joy. Even through the tears every moment I get to speak about him is my tangeable proof that he exists.  To see tears of love and support running down the cheeks of so many showed me what I have known all along.   Christian's imprint on this world will be everlasting.

So that's where I've been,  plus recovering from a frantic er trip with kidney stones. As always, your continued prayers are appreciated and needed.  Physical pain seems to aggravate the emotional.

Love, jen