Almost 20 years ago, I was a single mom of a toddler determined to never put my guard down with a man again. A last minute babysitter left me free to go to a local bar with a girlfriend. Who knew that last minute decision would change my life forever!
This quiet, tall, handsome, young man was introduced to me by his cousin who I happened to work with. After a quick hello we kept walking and staked out some space a few yards away.
A waitress came up to me with a smile. She pointed at that handsome young man and told me he had a stack of $20s in his pocket and told her to keep bringing me whatever I wanted. She and I brilliantly decided she would bring me 1 cheap longneck at a time and we would split the change from each $20. I went over to thank him and dragged him onto the dance floor a few drinks in. He looked terrified, but dutifully danced with me for a few min.
The rest of the evening I spent with an old school friend. I really didn't give that nice guy much thought.
The next day I emptied my pockets and found a crazy amount of loose singles and a business card from a dj. Talk about making a girl wonder what the hell she did the prior night!! My scheme with the waitress turned out to be a profitable one! The business card was thrown in a drawer and I didn't give it much thought.
2 weeks later his cousin approached me at work and assured me the handsome guy was harmless and was asking for my number. I remember telling her sure-he seemed like the kind of guy that would make sure me and my friends got home safe at night.
A few nights later, I was lying in bed and every few second the phone would barely ring. (this was back in the ice ages when we only had landlines). After several times, I was annoyed but able to grab it in time. It was the dj who's card I found in my pocket- my future husband. This was early October, he would put a ring on my hand Valentine's Day!
If you would have asked me back then what my future held, I would have said a content life raising my daughter alone. I viewed our life as a mirror image of a Gilmore Girls episode (google that one youngsters!). I had lost hope and much of my faith in anything bigger for myself then happy solitude.
I viewed being hopeful as a sign of weakness. I had no intention of letting myself get lost in "love" or "hope"ever again. My goal was to be strong and independent. Funny how hope has been such an intricate storyline for me for so many years.
20 years later, I am back
to square one. Guarded, wanting to be fiercely independent, and having momentary lapses in faith and hope. And yet possibilities are fluttering all around me. My tall/dark/handsome husband still keeps me safe around every turn. He is my fierce protector, best friend, and love of my life. As he coaxes me back out of my shell, I look into his eyes and I'm 21 all over again. Scared, tired, guarded, but looking forward to the hopes we are rebuilding for the future.
Thank you God for bringing this man into my life.
#doitforcj
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