I have always been a bit of a hot head. I think it just balances out my better qualities a bit! But since we lost CJ, my filter seems to be even weaker than before.
Today was a perfect example. After a long day babysitting the cutest one year old on earth, the girls and I decided to head out to Target for things to make a quick, late dinner and a cheap dvd to add to our growing collection. Seemed simple enough.
The first comical choice I made was to take the conversion van. Yep. With a lovely sedan in the garage, I grabbed the keys to the Queen Mary for the simple reason that it had a full tank of gas!
The parking lot was busy, but not crazy. I found a spot just a few spaces from the door and parked it. Yes, it was between the lines. Yes, it's a huge vehicle. But to put this in perspective, the girls opened both doors on the passenger side and easily got out without touching the mini suv on their side. Little did we know it's owner, a hot headed momma with a toddler, was waiting impatiently for us to disembark (Queen Mary/disembark. Get it? Lol cracking myself up).
Immediately she started speaking in her outdoor voice to her little one that she had no idea how she was going to get her into their car. My kids kicked it into high speed and headed towards the store. Annoyed, I lingered. She continued to speak to the child so I could hear her about how rude I was.
Yep, I engaged.
I asked her if she would like me to move for her and she snapped "I'm not speaking to YOU!!"
I think you can all picture what happened next. I said a few words about acting like a grown up and that I'd happily move over for her. Of course adding if she just asked instead her passive aggressive crap... And I walked back to climb back in and scootch it over literally a few inches.
My engine starting up threw her into a rage! To prove her point she whipped her back door open (just about all of the way I might add) to where if I backed up she would be clocked by my huge mirror and proceeded to lock her toddler into the car seat. As soon as she shut the door and went to return her cart, I backed up and nudged over literally a few inches.
I jumped out (yep, jumped. It's a big van!) and had perfect timing to watch her ram her cart into the cart return with all of her might. I had to laugh. It was like watching a child throwing a fit. As she stormed across my path I added " there you go, princess" to which she retorted my absolute favorite "WHATEVER!" and got into her cute little suv and slammed the door like a maniac. I met up with the girls who looked a bit shocked standing by the front door.
Yes, I did immediately think who knows what she has struggled with today. I don't have a clue of her story or her struggles. But another thought bothered me more. She was raising a bully!
What I witnessed was a mean girl in training. Her mom was using her as a direction for her passive aggressive behavior, to say things she didn't have the nerve to just say to me, and modeling basic gossip behavior. That woman was laying the groundwork for that child to be another mean little girl. That breaks my heart. I never really thought about how this mean girl phenomenon originates in the home. These girls just seemed to appear around middle school. And here was a true example of when it starts. With a toddler in a diaper listening to a mean girl with experience. She calls her mommy. She is her idol and best friend.
My sweet CJ continues to lead me to new life lessons daily. I implore all of you raising little girls to contemplate what I witnessed today. What kind of behavior are you modeling for your little girls? Do you expect better behavior out of her than you do for yourself? Are you teaching her compassion and patience with your actions? Do you model how to interact with strangers in a loving and pleasant way? Listen to a veteran mom with 3 kind, loving daughters.
I could have skipped calling her a princess, but maybe that was the last turn of the screw that will make her stew long enough to really think. Doubtful that my interaction with her did little to leave a favorable impression, but maybe by sharing my crazy story I can leave one on all of you.
Just be kind to one another. Practice patience and throw in some humor. And if you happen to get annoyed with the Queen Mary parked next to you, take a deep breath and put it into perspective. You could be parked in a cemetery visiting your child rather than wasting money in Target...
#doitforcj
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