Family gatherings are scarce. Chunks of several parts of our families regularly gather together, but invites are rare. There were no fall outs to cause this. Simply with our grandparents passing left us holiday orphans. Maybe my large pack of 5 dinner place settings lends to hesitation to invite us? Or the awkwardness of hosting a family in grief?
So this Easter my husband is working and our oldest is still in Florida. Parents are out of state. I guess a quiet , ordinary day is in our future. I miss those years of family gatherings. Of my buszia filling baskets with Brachs candy and endless polish feasts. And of my grandmother's lamb cakes hand decorated for each grandchild. But most of all, a sense of belonging.
I was thinking about all of this today, full of sadness for years past. Then it occurred to me. Our children were not there. They do not have MY childhood memories- they have their own, And the memories we have created have been pretty fantastic! From watching their mom fall in a church parking lot excited to see snow after Christmas Eve mass many years ago, to having our baskets blessed on Holy Saturday. Christmas morning cinnamon rolls, 4th of July spent with a bottomless cooler of snacks and drinks for fireworks, Mothers Day Portillos and petunia planting... Our own oddly joyful ways of celebrating those special days. They don't yearn to be invited by distant relatives that they are forced to kiss twice a year. They come alive in those silly moments when we are all together creating memories.
This Easter is already very, very different. We are not together. CJ is spending the holiday in God's hands, Kate with The Mouse, and Nate is working. So by 2pm, there will just be 3 of us left at home. Memories of years past dressing up my munchkins is coordinating Easter dresses and patent leather shoes with big ruffled socks makes me smile and cry. It all went by too fast. But in our own corky way, hopefully I can pull a rabbit out of my hat and still make the day special.
Thinking we will be focusing on the bunnies and eggs part of the holiday this year. In other words kids- everything I have instilled in you for your entire lives about Easter being the holiest day of the year? Hold that in your hearts because we are going to tread lightly. My heart is screaming for God's grace to remind me that CJ is in HIS presence because HE rose for us. But the reality is that my broken soul needs to step gently into such an emotionally charged topic.
Wish me luck... Friday I have big plans to pull our Grandma's bunny cake and cross forms with the girls. Maybe a few old traditions can still sneak into the week! We will just put our own crazy spin on Grandma's perfectly decorated cakes.
Wishing you all an Easter full of peace- in whatever form you need. Please walk gently into the lives of those around you. Reach out and make sure nobody is alone. Sharing your pizza dinner may be the fellowship that a lonely soul is screaming for.
#doitforcj
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