Cleaning out closets

I know I'm not alone.   I've held on to bins of clothes that I have come close to on several occasions,  but never fit back into.   Our master closet had become our current clothes hanging,  and 3 times as much in bins. Not anymore.

Contemplating an across county move we hope to make in a few years had me looking around at the amount of stuff stored around the house.  Unless you saw the half of the garage stacked with bins or peeked around in closets, you would never guess. I am the master of making our home always look roomy, and uncluttered to guests. The reality is that there are plastic bins neatly stashed everywhere.  

My closet seemed like a good place to start. NINE large plastic bins were dragged out.  One item at a time, I emptied every one.  It occurred to me that many items are no longer "trendy" enough to even sell.  So I started stacking up donations.

When I was done, there were 3 bins of winter clothes to return to the closet. Everything else was stacked into the van to donate.   6 bins of clothes.  The physical weight was startling. 

Letting it all go has inspired me.   One closet at a time will be weeded out,  except one.   All of CJ'S things are stored in a basement closet.  I'm giving myself permission to skip that one.   You see while some memories are enough to fill the gap of letting go of a dress I wore to a wedding 5 years ago, CJ's things were never touched.
 
No memories were made swaddling him into his blankets.  I never got to hear him have fits while pulling a onsie over his head.   His stacks of overly preppy polos and jeans are completely stain free.  I never changed his footie pjs in the middle of the night.  Without those memories,  I'm not ready to let them go.   They represent every hope, plan, and dream we had for him.  

I'm often asked what I have done with his things.  Well intentioned people have even sent me nudges with suggestions on where to donate those items.   I have calmly ignored comments that "other babies who actually need" these items would be thankful. Our that I wasted energy moving them with us.

So to answer any lingering doubts ...

NOPE.  You do not need to suggest charities that will pick up his things.

Yep.  I'm keeping them.

They aren't being wasted.  They aren't a burden.  They are a very very small tangible reminder we have of our son.

Next time you suggest or volunteer to remove a family's belongings after losing a child,  I want you to think of this- if your house burnt down today,  what would be all that mattered?   That your family got out safely,  right?  Stuff can be replaced, right?   We walked out of the hospital without our child.   We walked out of the fire leaving him behind.   Cut me some slack on the few bins stashed under the basement stairs.

#doitforcj