Getting me to hang out at a block party in our old neighborhood is no easy feat. I dragged my feet all afternoon before finally heading over with the kids.
It turned out to be a fun evening. There was a bit of heaviness between me and the girls. Missing CJ like crazy tends to do that to us. The evening ended with the neighbors gathering a few houses away to light wish lanterns in memory of a neighbor who had passed away. I stayed where I was knowing venturing down with the crowd could end with me in a puddle of tears. My own anxiety of a possibly emotionally charged event unfolding had me completely distracted from where the girls were.
Lanterns started to fill the sky. I stood quietly crying watching them float away. My sweet friend came up and put her arms around me. I didn't have to explain. I just cried. She simply stated "I'm just going to love you through it". We stood there both of us crying and watching. She didn't say anything else. No empty promises and words of wisdom. She just kept her arms around me and cried with me.
After a few minutes people started to mill around again. I was pulling myself back together when a little girl came running up to me in a panic to tell me one of my girls had collapsed. I followed her down the street to where the lanterns had been released expecting to find a kid sprawled out. One was calmly sitting on the ground, and the other 2 were protectively near by, puffy eyed ,surrounded by friends.
I must have looked like such a bitch. "Everyone ok?" was all I said. I looked at each girl one at a time. I understood what happened without them having to explain. They participated in something way beyond what our fragile hearts could handle. They were surrounded by friends, safe, and calm. They were ok. Stirring up an emotional reenactment was not going to help so I didn't ask any questions.
That's how we survive. One emotionally charged event at a time. But most importantly, with moments we can let go a bit and just allow someone to simply love us through it.
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