He was simply beautiful

Simply beautiful.  Look at that angel in Katie's arms!  To watch our daughters hold their brother was simply beautiful. 

I have been told that it is a delicate question to ask. Yet for me it is the most heartbreaking question not to hear. What did CJ look like?  He looked like a baby.  He was pink with a cute button nose.  He had a bit of dark hair like his sisters.  All his fingers and toes perfectly formed.  I expected to see something scarey, but he was simply beautiful.  It was such a special moment to have him in my arms.  To unwrap his little body to touch his hands and feet.  In that moment of complete sorrow, there was such awe at this miracle.

Like most moms, I'm rarely caught in a photo because I'm usually the one taking the picture. The panic and guilt I felt of only having a few pictures a nurse took was overwhelming the days following. I believe in angels. I held one in my arms. The grace and beauty of that moment will live in my heart forever. Until I am reunited with my son, I will share his story. I will #doitforcj