This morning we put our oldest daughter on a plane. She will be gone for 5 mo on an internship with THE mouse. How exciting, right? Keep reminding me of that...
I'm sure the world is expecting me to loose it at any moment. I had my few tears on the way home. But at 21, she just amazes me. She had been here to take care of mom all winter break. It's my turn to love her enough to let her go.
Letting go... That's a hard one when it's forced upon you. I never asked to let go of my son. I was forced. I had plans. Beautiful, dreamy plans for a life with our first son. Then without warning, I was forced to let go.
So then we are faced with this dilemma. I can refuse to let my expectations of how I will parent CJ go, or except this crappy hand we were dealt and figure out a new way to be his mom. I'm choosing to be the mom of an angel.
It's ok to let go. It hurts. It leaves you riddled with guilt and questions. Luckily God had pretty broad shoulders to take that burden on for us.
People love to remind me that God gave up his only son. Like I am in any way to equivalent of our savior? It almost feels like a way to guilt me into letting go. There's a topic for a day when I haven't sent my kid across the country... Tonight I'll cuddle up with my husband and wait for text updates from our sweet explorer. I'll even smile because I'll #doitforcj
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